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Level 6: Paragraphs that present explanations--and advances in writing precisely

The third type of paragraphs presents a theory or argument that explains some finding or observation.

Here is an example

The fluency bias can explain these observed benefits of simple text.  In particular, unfamiliar objects or activities are harder to appraise and understand than familiar objects or activities. Therefore, if some object or activity, such as a sentence, is hard to appraise or understand, individuals will assume this object or activity is unfamiliar.  Yet, individuals are not as likely to trust anything that is unfamiliar.  That is, throughout evolution, unfamiliar people, animals, objects, or activities were more likely to be harmful to humans.  Consequently, individuals will tend to distrust sentences that are hard to understand—sentences that feel unfamiliar in some sense.

To write these paragraphs, follow these suggestions

Suggestions

Example

Generally, the first sentence indicates that some theory or argument can explain some finding or observation. This sentence might even refer to the name of this theory or argument

The fluency bias can explain these observed benefits of simple text

The other sentences in this paragraph describe the theory in depth

 

To order these sentences, you should first list each premise that you need to include

  • Throughout evolution, unfamiliar objects are harmful
  • We do not trust unfamiliar objects
  • If unfamiliar, hard to understand
  • If hard to understand, assume object is unfamiliar

Then, reorder these premises. For example, if the premises describe a sequence of events, present the events chronologically

Or perhaps one premise may be easier to understand if preceded by another premise

  • If unfamiliar, hard to understand
  • If hard to understand, assume object is unfamiliar
  • We do not trust unfamiliar objects
  • Throughout evolution, unfamiliar objects are harmful

Then, write in full

In particular, unfamiliar objects or activities are harder to appraise and understand than familiar objects or activities.  Therefore, if some object or activity, such as a sentence, is hard to appraise or understand, individuals will assume this object or activity is unfamiliar.  Yet, individuals are not as likely to trust anything that is unfamiliar.  That is, throughout evolution, unfamiliar people, animals, objects, or activities were more likely to be harmful to humans. 

Exercise

6.1  Identify 5 or more explanations you want to include in your thesis.  Specifically

  • identify many key findings or observations that are relevant to your thesis
  • identify various explanations of each finding

Exercise

6.2  Utilise the previous suggestions to write a preliminary version of these paragraphs.  That is

  • attempt to write a sentence that refers to both the essence of this explanation and the finding or observation you want to explain
  • attempt to divide the explanation into as many specific arguments as possible
  • arrange these arguments in some logical order
  • if you like, include or adapt relevant sentences you have already written
  • then write the paragraph in full
  • like all paragraphs, this paragraph should usually comprise between three and eight sentences

Improving these paragraphs: Precise numbers

Exercise

6.3  To write even more precisely, refer to quantities as specifically as possible.  To illustrate, you could

  • replace a lack of studies with no studies or a scarcity of studies
  • replace little research has with only a few studies have or limited research has

Therefore, in your sentences or paragraphs

  • search lack and little
  • perhaps replace these words or phrases with more precise alternatives

Exercise

6.4  Many references to time, such as since or while, can also be ambiguous.  To illustrate, decide which of the sentences in the left column of the following table are flawed.  In the right column are the answers.

Which sentences are flawed?

Explanation

I laughed since the man slipped over

  • The word since tends to imply after in time and, therefore, is ambiguous here
  • Do not use the word since to indicate because
  • Instead, write I laughed because the man slipped over

I have not vomited since 1990

  • The word since, in this sentence, indicates after in time and is thus suitable here

I laughed as the man slipped over

  • The word as tends to imply at the same time and, therefore, is ambiguous here
  • Do not use the word as to indicate because
  • Instead, write I laughed because the man slipped over

I like pizza while my friend likes bean sprouts

  • The word while tends to imply at the same time and, therefore, is also ambiguous here
  • Do not use the word while to indicate whereas or although
  • Instead, write I like pizza whereas my friend likes bean sprouts or I like pizza although my friend likes bean sprouts

I sing while I work

  • The word while, in this sentence, indicates at the same time as and is thus suitable here

Exercise

6.5  In your sentences and paragraphs, search the terms since, as, and while.  If these words do not refer to time, replace these terms with unambiguous alternatives such as because, whereas, although, or even and.


Incomplete sentences

One common error that writers commit, especially when they use the words although or whereas, is their sentences are not complete. To understand this error, as well as other writing principles, you must understand the notion of a subject, verb, and object.  In English, most sentences comprise a subject, verb, and object—often in this order.  In essence, the subject initiates some action, the verb is the action, and the object is usually the target of this action.  But these definitions are not entirely helpful.  Instead, read the following examples to distinguish the subject, verb, and object.

Sentence

Subject

Verb

Object

Researchers conducted two studies

Researchers

Conducted

Two studies

We recruited 20 participants

We

Recruited

20 participants

Participants completed a survey

Participants

Completed

A survey

We subjected the data to a t-test

We

Subjected to a t-test

The data

For some sentences, the verb is the state of being—such as am, are, is, was, and were.  In these instances, the verb may not be as apparent.  The follow examples illustrate this verb.

Sentence

Subject

Verb

Object

The participants were 15 women

The participants

were

15 women

ANOVAs are a statistical test

ANOVAs

are

a statistical test

Ethnography is a qualitative approach

Ethnography

is

a qualitative approach

Furthermore, in some sentences, the subject, verb, or object is only implied rather than explicit.  For example, in the sentence “The man left”, the object is implied.  That is, the man could have left his house, the party, and so forth.  Sentences that do not, either implicitly or explicitly, comprise a subject, verb, and object are not complete.

Exercise

6.6  Some sentences that start with the words whereas, although, for example, or numbers such as first and second, are not complete. To illustrate, use your intuition to decide which of the sentences in the left column of the following table are complete.  In the right column are the answers.

Which sentences are flawed?

Explanation

Writers should use commas in three situations.  First, to separate items.  Second, to designate phrases that could be omitted or shifted.  Third, to separate independent clauses. 

  • Sentences must include a subject, verb, or object, either explicitly or implicitly. 
  • The phrase First, to separate items does not include a subject and is thus not complete
  • If you read this phrase in isolation, you are likely to sense the phrase is not a complete sentence

Writers should use commas in three situations: to separate items, to designate phrases that could be omitted or shifted, and to separate independent clauses

  • This sentence is complete because the phrase to separate items is merely one item in a broader sentence

 

Writers should use commas in three situations.  First, commas separate items.  Second, commas designate phrases that could be omitted or shifted.  Third, commas separate independent clauses

  • Each of these sentences include a subject, verb, or object and are thus complete

Scholars have developed many statistical tests.  For example, t-tests

  • In this example, For example, t-tests does not include a verb or object and, therefore, is not complete
  • A more appropriate sentences is Scholars have developed many statistical tests, such as t-tests

Children like cordial.  Whereas adults like wine.

  • Sentences that comprise whereas should compare two objects or concepts
  • The phrase whereas adults like wine does not compare two objects or concepts and is thus not a complete sentence
  • If you read this phrase in isolation, you are likely to sense the phrase is not a complete sentence

Children like cordial, whereas adults like wine

  • The sentence compared two objects or concepts—children and adults—and is thus complete

Children like cordial.  Although adults like wine.

  • Sentences that comprise although should also compare two objects or concepts
  • The phrase although adults like wine does not compare two objects or concepts and is thus not a complete sentence

 

People like wine, although children like cordial

  • The sentence compared two objects or concepts—children and adults—and is thus complete

Exercise

6.7  Identify your sentences and paragraphs that comprise the words whereas, although, for example, or numbers such as first and second.  Then

  • determine whether these sentences comprise a subject, verb, and object
  • determine whether sentences that comprise whereas or although compare two objects or concepts
  • rectify the sentences otherwise

Comparatives


Some words and phrases are often referred to as comparatives. Comparatives include

  • words that end in -er, such as greater, shorter, happier, and faster
  • phrases that include than such as more than or less than
  • other specific terms, such as worse

These words or phrases tend to compare two or more objects or events.  When authors use these words or phrases, they sometimes fail to specify one of the objects or events.  To illustrate, in the following table, sentences on the left side are incorrect.  Sentences on the right side are correct.

Incorrect sentencesCorrect sentences
The children in this community are shorterThe children in this community are shorter than are children in other communities
The price is now higherThe price is higher now than previously

Exercise

6.8.  In your sentences and paragraphs, identify comparatives and then modify comparatives that were not written precisely.

Exercise

This document summarises the principles this program recommends.  To improve the sentences you have written, apply all the recommendations that correspond to Levels 5 or lower in this document
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